Think Thought Thunk

I begin this post with a mental image. Imagine, if you will, the inner workings of a complex machine. It hums, grinds, and its machinations produce a whirlwind of complex "product" only to come to a screeching halt and die silently after a reverberating "THUNK".

As I am fond of figurative and often vague metaphors, I can sum it up as such. Disappointment. I am in a place where the shining star of despair rises East each morning and sets in the Wild West of futility. I really must come to terms with what I am, or intend myself to be, because the time will come when it is too late to redeem my finer qualities and I am left as Skorn, the best of my worst, and unlovable.

My interest in meaningful human contact and relationships is waning more and more as time progresses and I fear I will become a true recluse in the years to come. I try to fight this of course with concentrated efforts at interpersonal relationships however let me again refer you to my aforementioned mental image. THUNK.

Disappointment. System Failure.

As usual I an not forthcoming with irrelevant details, such as who, when, where. But I make mention of this, if ever there was a chance, I was open to that being it. What is not to be is not to be, and what ever happened happened, and couldn't have happened any other way. (Ill explain the genius of this later)

This worried me because the formula is roughly the same. I am still the master of my own vessel and the captain of the ship, so the blame must be mine right? I must admit this somehow, somewhere in this machine, is a faulty part or parts and must be replaced. But Im no technician. I only invented the damn thing.

So I guess what ever I think or have thought, about myself, my potential, my hopes even, the result is the same. THUNK.

The 4th Beginning

Greetings Spidey Fans,

Most people are familiar with the term "New Beginnings". Usually we promise to start fresh, start over, start anew. From New Years resolutions to birthday wishes we always strive to set a goal and reach it.

It happens, however, that new beginnings sometimes dont cut it. We often fail and fall short and as such, promise a new NEW beginning. Take Spiderman for example... I saw a trailer the other day for the new Spiderman movie. However it didnt contain any of the previous actors, or directors as this is in fact a BRAND new movie.... From the beginning... They didnt go the Batman route, and just cast a new hero every few films. They started over from scratch. I guess they figured they could do it better.

So how many beginnings are we allowed? I say that to say this, I have taken to pen again (digital) to try and make sense of my life. I have fallen lax in documentation and quite frankly, no one will ever believe me if I dont note it all down. So here we are again, a New Beginning, for the 4th time.... Be prepared. I think I can do it better this time.